Secretly a hopeless romantic, obsessed with dreams and ideas. But mostly, simplicity.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

If you try sometimes, you get what you need.

To me, life is all about adventure and the things that happen along the way. I have this 'itch' inside of me that is so great it consumes my thoughts and most of my dreams. This 'itch' is defined by the incredible urge to be free, it cries out for adventure and thirsts for change. I may be young, but I do know that this is my one and only shot at life, and man, I want to live it to the fullest. Unfortunately, I've been doing just the opposite. I've been playing it safe in order fit all the versions of who I was told (and thought) that I should be. I spent 5 years working in different office positions for what I am now realizing to be ridiculous reasons. I stayed for the health insurance, the money, and even a 401k. Don't get me wrong, all of these things are great, but what are they to me if my happiness is nonexistent? I found that any money I made, was wasted away on expensive bar tabs, clothes, coffee and cigarettes (my horrible coping mechanism). I realize now that in an attempt to make up for my desolate feelings from working jobs I hated, I turned around and threw everything I made away. It's like the devil has this wishing well and all my money was being dumped right down the drain which only caused a snowball effect of more serious problems then just hating my job. Where did this arrogant behavior get me? Well, it got me right here. Right here and right now I've decided that something has GOT to change.

I've come to a point in my life where I believe it's time for me to stop thinking about the "what if's", and start doing. Everyone makes mistakes, and to me, this is the spice of life. I've come to realize that although my timing may not always be right, (current commitment, cough, cough) I am still happy that I finally took a risk of starting something that essentially scares the s&#t out of me. Needless to say, it was no mistake, and it's been a blast. I can't imagine ever regretting anything, and yes, the memories (Duff FEST, what, what!!!) will always make me smile. SO, Joe, thanks for holding my hand (which as corny as it may be, is obviously my favorite part) through this interesting time of my life, while also understanding my crazy and more importantly accepting me as I am.

Anyway, this blog post was inspired from watching one of my favorite shows, Scrubs. Don't laugh, I mean seriously, how could you not love the characters of scrubs! They are all so quirky, but in a tasteful manner. What is even better is that through their humor and crazyness, well stuff gets real. In the episode that I watched tonight J.D. said this, "I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it."

This right here, is exactly why Scrubs is nothing less than amazing. However this simple quote hit home with everything that's been going on in my heart lately. I feel that I've wasted SO much time ignoring this intense urge to get out and DO something for myself.. At this point I have no clue as to what that something may be, but I have this little sneaking suspision, that it's going to blow me away. This is exactly why I need to start this new adventure and new chapter in my life. So please all, send your prayers, (or keep your fingers crossed if that's more your thing) that all the 'pretty little pieces' (HA, get it?) start falling into place. I've been job hunting for about a month now, hoping to land a job in Duluth. Obviously, my starting something new is quite dependent on finding the perfect work. I do need to be able to afford rent (GASP). Yes, I said it... RENT. Adventure number one?

Moving out.

As much as I'd like to keep writing, it's now one hour and seven minutes past my bedtime. My pillow is talking to me, and I think I may have just spotted a sheep. Or maybe that's just those fuzzy things that get in my eyes from my favorite (but annoyingly furry) sweater. So this is C'est la vie signing out, Good night to all and to all a good night!

Sidenote: I'm kind of liking this blog thing. Who knew? I don't know where this is headed, or for that matter where I am headed, but I'm sure loving the sound of it.

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