Today I'm diving head first into a new opportunity. Last week after speaking with one of my Professors about the classes I'm planning for next semester he threw an opportunity in my lap.
He praised my recent video projects and my talent for 'writing for the ear' and my blatant creativity in everything I do. He let me know that a Duluth blog (Perfect Duluth Day) is looking for a UMD intern this next semester. My Professor said I'd be perfect.
When I responded tentatively to the idea by addressing my concerns about how, I'm not there yet as a writer, how I'm nervous about making that kind of commitment, how I don't want to let PDD down if I fail... he responded with a question.
"Why, Jamie, haven't you published any of your work?"
I didn't say this to him, but my answer is easy: The fear of failing. I don't want people to have expectations of a story I've been assigned to write, because, what if I can't pull it together? Or what if I make a mistake and publish it for the world to read? I'm nervous that I won't be able to tap into my creative side, and leave them with a disappointing project whether it be video or writing. Then there's deadlines, don't even get me started on those. Will I be able to write a story in an hour, or maybe two? That's what great journalist are able to do...
Failure, you see, is one of my biggest fears (after spiders, of course :). But as I logged in to check out my blog and read my last post from back in April, I realized one great thing: I've got nothing to lose.
I'm a student, I'm learning, and that is what interning is all about. It's about getting your foot in the door, testing out a life that may or may not fit well with you.
In addition to realizing that I can only go up, I've come to the understanding that I want PDD to be a good fit for me and my ideas and skills, just as much as they want an intern to be a good fit for PDD. Maybe that person can be me, but on the other hand if its not, then I've got plenty of other opportunities to explore.
Anyway, I meet with Paul (the Pres. of PDD) today at 3:30, just four hours away. I've got no clue what to expect, but I have a handful of ideas of things that I would like to do. Hopefully he'll like those ideas too.
I guess we'll see if I can snag this opportunity, or find out if its the opportunity that I'm searching for.
