The Grand Awakening

It’s probably no surprise to many of you, that I am a self-diagnosed over-the-top professional worrier.

I worry about everything. I worry about money, I worry about school, I worry about my car breaking down in the middle of the highway. I worry hour to hour of everyday about the “what if’s” and when I don’t worry, I worry that I’m forgetting to worry about something important.

This worry, I’ve discovered, is no way to lead a life of freedom and happiness. Worrying stunts my inner growth, clogs up my thoughts, and can even prevent me from getting things done.

I guess I’ve always known that worry is a constant in my life, but recently I’ve tried to change this well-built in, familiar way of thinking.

Today, like any other day, I want to acknowledge my worries and then (drumroll please…) LET THEM GO.

Emily Dickenson writes, “To live is so startling, it leaves little time for anything else.”

Life is too short to waste time thinking about “what if’s”. It’s so easy to fall into their downward spiral of depression and hopelessness.

The good news is, I’ve been making progress. Ever since I’ve acknowledged my worries and told them to F the F off, my life has been coming together like a puzzle, waiting to be put into place.

Different pieces of my life are fitting together and falling into place in ways that I worried, never would.

I quit a job that made me so unhappy and went out looking for something more. I packed up and moved to Duluth with little money and started going to school for writing.

Although I’m still not certain that writing is my future, I know that so far because of it  I’ve met amazing people that I’d never had met if I was still drinking my life away from working a stressful (repetitive) 9 to 5. My focus has changed from me trying to eliminate worry (by working that dumb job for the money, setting up IRA’s and ignoring my unhappiness) to a better subject…. ME.

It might sound a little selfish and narcissistic, and maybe that’s true, but one thing is for sure: happiness starts and ends with oneself.

Some (unknown) brilliant person once said, “There is an ‘I’ in happiness.”

Isn’t that great!? It’s all about ME! 

It’s not about your friends or your boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s definitely not about your parents or your boss. Everything is all about YOU. It’s about how you feel, what you want to do and the choices that you choose, that will lead you to a life full of the “good stuff” like joy, love, and internal happiness.

By letting go of my worry, I unknowingly opened up my life to the wide world of possible opportunities.

Since living here in Duluth, one puzzle piece after another continues to fall into place.

My little longboarding story, which I worried about far too long, is being published in the school newspaper (the editor even described it as ‘fantastic!’). I’ve started seeing an amazing man who acknowledges my craziness and somehow likes me anyway. I’ve started talking to people about life, and opened my eyes and ears to their stories.

Day by day, one small step at a time I’m learning to LIVE my life, instead of WORRY about my life.

If you find yourself worrying about the small things, I hope you too can take a similar path like mine, and end up here.

Where is here?

Here is complete and total happiness and contentment in the current moment. Here is being thankful for the little things that bless you in your daily life. It might be your children, your dog, the way your hair is falling into place, or the smell of apple scented dish soap as you clean-up after all of your roommates (wait, what? haha this never happens to me).

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t make it ‘here’ everyday, but ‘here’ is available every minute I continue to breathe.

Anyway, following this long rant is my list of things I am thankful for today. Identifying what you are thankful for and writing it down – or even mentally making a list – has been an extremely helpful tool in letting go of my crazy over-the-top worry. So, without further ado, today I am thankful for:

This laptop that I write on

My less then perfect ceramic mug holding my morning drug… coffee.

The morning sun which is currently shining through my window

Kurt Vile for blessing my ears with sweet sweet sounds

Sarah Ban Breathnach, for writing Simple Abundance which is never far from my reach

God, for giving me life

My health, and all of my senses that allow me to hear the music and taste the coffee

Ian, for understanding it all, and waking me up at 6:30 a.m. which resulted in this long over due blog

And finally my shoe collection (some material things DO count for happiness, I don’t believe people who say they don’t) for today I will wear a summery pair of flats with ripped up jeans because I can!

Whooo hooooo! Go get ‘em tiger! I’m all pumped up, I feel like I’ve had one too many Mountain Dew’s and am gunna come at you like a spider money!!!! Bahahah, anyone know where that’s from? Ten extra ‘you rock’ points for the right answer. OK, but seriously I’mma bout to pay my very last months rent at this residence (one more month and I'll be in a new place and starting a new adventure!!!!), get the hair’s cut (only because I have a coupon haha), and get my butt to class! Ready GO!

New Year's Adventure with Chip & Russ (Edited for Blogging Purposes ;)

You know I had a good New Year when these are the only three pictures from the night....

Yes, that IS Mr. "Santa" Potato Head and YES he is helping me finish my whiskey sour.... Oh, what's that you ask? Is that a smoke? Why YES, yes of course Mr. "Santa" Potato Head smokes, don't judge, I don't think you've ever dealt with the pressure of loosing important parts of your face!

lol

Up next in my camera was this lovely piece of car 'snow' art....

All I can say about this is, "You know how I know I live in a college town?" Obviously, we were trying to solve an extremely pertinent math equation :)

So the last picture, I have debated posting.... But since this is MY blog, and really what harm can it do....

haha, This my friends is me nearing the end of our bar adventure at the Fitger Complex. To my knowledge, I was attempting to show off my "Avril" tie that I stole from the dude pictured on the right lol He obviously didn't make it in the shot (his loss lol) Buuut instead I appear to be showing off my "I'm incredibly drunk, and slightly retarded" look. Ahhhh, yes, it is a classic, I've been told I wear it well. :)

I really wish I would have gotten a few pictures of my partners in crime since they did drive up from the cities to take me with on their D-Town N.Y.E. (new year's eve for those of you who haven't caught on to my need to make EVERYTHING into acronyms), but alas, that's what I get for trying to drink and take pictures at the same time.... which is nothing.... lol SOOO here is my shout out - Dear Russ & Chip, no matter how much s*** ya'll gave me (my little girl confidence is still be reconciled) I am still ecstatic about you two coming up here and bringing me out to play!

Last but not least, I have this really bomb video... Please attempt to ignore the drunk talk about facebook & Black something or anothers and try to focus on the amazing guitar part. Also keep in mind that this is after one too many so just imagine what it could be when you catch Jimbo on the right day...... :) Thanks Jim Bobway for teaching me your tune, I can really rock it now!

All in all, my N.Y.E. with Chip & Russ was a success.... and that brings me up to date, sooooo who is coming up to visit next!!!!?!?!?

The little tear off calendar that rocked my world

Today is Thursday December 30^th, and it’s my first day off in WEEKS. I am so excited to have this day to do whatever my little girl heart desires. It’s raining outside, on this beautiful winter day, and I am in love with the way the fog is settled all around this house. I am in love with the drips and drops that I can hear on my window. I am in love with grooveshark too, because it’s sending Paul Wright, Adam Merrin and Wild Sweet Orange into my ears. I woke up feeling refreshed and as always so thankful to be waking up here in Duluth, MN.

Yesterday was a crazy day at work and the shannanagans kept coming up: from people being evacuated from a chairlift after two hours of being stuck, to beginners getting wiped out by chairs on non-beginner lifts, to me walking ALL over the mountain trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be, to loosing power on half of the hill including the Chalet. Needless to say when I got off work, I was ready to kick back and relax. I came home and went upstairs to say a, ‘hey, what’s up?’ to my roomies. We ended up kickin’ it for a bit, and it was exactly what I needed. I even started to learn a little bit about their World of Warcraft (but if anyone EVER mentions this in real life, I’ll deny it ;)

However, I have been missing my other roomie who kind of shares the bottom floor with me. He went back home to the cities for the past week, and will still be gone for this next week. He is the one that normally keeps me sane after crazy days at both of my jobs, and he always seems to know the right thing to say or do (like the time I needed a laugh, and walked in to find him using my hairdryer with the diffuser attachment to seal up a drafty window).

Anyway, I feel like I’m always going on and on about experiences in life, and how mine alone are not enough to see the world as it is. I’ve never really been able to put this view into words that others can understand. But my MIA roommate has this calendar that sits in our bathroom. It’s one of those small one’s with the tear away pages (I like these ones because it’s like opening a small gift every morning haha you never know what’s up next!). This calendars topic is based off of the book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (which I should really invest in). It has been sharing little tidbits of the book (or maybe not, I’ve never actually read it) with me everyday for the past couple months, and almost every single day I feel inspired enough to write a blog about each one. Today’s tidbit, however, deserves a blog for sure.

It read, “The person who is truly effective has the humility and the reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings. That person values the differences because those differences add to his knowledge, to his understanding of reality. When we’re left to our own experiences, we constantly suffer from a shortage of data.”

I couldn’t have been able to put this into better words, as I have been trying to for years. Even my last blog about my parents touched on this subject when I talked about my Dad teaching me that questioning is OK, as long as it’s to gain knowledge or experiences that you yourself haven’t yet had. Reading this made me smile, and realize how thankful I am to have a roommate who has no idea of the positive effects he has on me by just simply being in my life. I could tell him, but it might come off as creepy, haha.

Well tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, and I hope that ya’ll will be spending it with those that you love! I won’t be making it home to do the same, but a couple friends (don’t get me wrong I love them too) from the cities are making their way up to me for the night :)  So carry on, and play safe, this is C’est la vie, signing out!

So Much Beauty

12/16/2010 8:31 A.M. On a beautiful winter morning in Duluth Minnesota... I'm currently sitting at the top of a "mountain" (which is more like a HUGE hill, but still AWESOME) sipping my wonderful good morning coffee, listening to The Shins, and thinking about my life. Honestly, I have SO much to be thankful for on this day... so much to be thankful for everyday, really. It's hard to believe that after five years of distress and confusion about my future and in general about who I really am, I can finally say that for now - I'm extremely content. In the words of a great song... "who knew that simply being content is a dream come true." As of this perfect moment in time, I can say that I feel so ALIVE. Cliche as it may sound, it's the only way to describe the way I've been feeling as of lately. I'm finally out in the great big world, on my own, and making good decisions for myself (like NOT buying 5 dollar coffee's at Starbucks everyday :) When it all boils down to it, I've got two amazing people who have stood behind me through thick and thin, helping me become the person I am today. That's right folks, I've got my parents to thank for helping me get here, and ultimately supporting my ideas, whims and sometimes crazy dreams. Without them, I know I could potentially be a much lesser Person.

I've got my Dad to thank for teaching me how to think so creatively and teaching me that its okay to question things as long as the intent is to better myself and learn from others knowledge and experiences. He always seems to question where my creativity came from, and little does he know, but he put in my blueprint right from the start. With the good also comes the bad, but without bad good could not exist, RIGHT!? :) From growing up with him, I've also learned that everyone makes mistakes some bigger then others, but what matters in the end is the ability to admit to your mistakes or wrongdoings and taking the appropriate actions to change for the better.

While my Dad taught more on the intelligence spectrum, my mom taught from the other equally important end. She taught me how to dream, how to feel for myself and others and most importantly to have faith in even the darkest of times. It still amazes me to this day how she can tell things about people with an intuitive sense that is beyond me. From the very beginning of time, I always remember her telling me to "always follow your heart". This plays in my head at the most important decision making times in life. If not for her, I'd probably still be majoring in environmental science, ignoring my hearts desire to write about things unseen by most and ultimately do something much more substantial with my life/skills.

My direction in life may still be unclear, but with parents like them, (and don't even get me started on my amazing friends)... :) How could I go wrong!?

My Wonderful (Recent) Adventures

You know what sucks?

When you’re in the middle of a gay romance and boy number one is all flustered by cute boy number two, and when cute boy number two breaks out in a wonderfully harmonized rendition of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream, your internet connection cuts out. Not cool Wi-fi, not cool.

So it may be blatantly obvious to some of you that I was just ripped out of one of my favorite TV series known as Glee. Those of you who didn’t know, please catch yourselves up so in the future we can avoid incidences like this. You can actually watch the latest full episodes on Hulu (best site ever!!! Will someone PLEASE start paying me for all this advertising I do???!). Anyway, in an effort to entertain myself while not so patiently waiting for my crappy internet to allow me to finish my boy choir version of Perry, I thought I’d grace my blog with my presence. Ok, so maybe I can’t grace my blog with my presence since of course I need the internet to do anything fun on this dang computer (minus spider solitaire of course) but an old fashion word document will have to do. Besides I can copy and paste later, YES!?

SOooooo the topic of this blog is not about gay romance (I know you are all secretly disappointed) but mainly about my recent move to a nice little house in Duluth, Minnesota. As many of you know, it took me quite sometime to get my life in enough order to pack up my things and move here. Which by the way, Joe and I both realized that when I say pack up my ‘things’ it really means packing up and moving mountains. Yep, mountains of clothes. And shoes. (Houston? I think I have a problem!) (FYI: My internet connection just came back on!) So moving on, Today is Tuesday, and I have officially been here for one week. Last Tuesday after a bunch of shannanagans went down involving a trailer with broken lights, Joe and I officially jumped in my families mini-van and hauled ass up north.

The ride went pretty well with very few issues. The biggest issue was having to stop every other exit to purge our nicotine fits. Along one of these smoke break exits I noticed the padding that was wedged between my chest and the wooden planks on the trailer had blown out in the 70 mph winds. Upon further inspection, I realized a large chunk of wood was missing on the back edge of my once perfectly beatific chest. Sadly with the loss of the padding and the jump of the rickety trailer my chest had been rubbing quite hard against two giant protruding bolts (did anyone else’s head just end up in a gutter?) It was a sad day for all involved.

Now that I have relived the splendid drive up here, that brings me to my arrival. Joe and I pulled up to my lovely little home on top of the infamous ‘hill’ in Duluth to find that Jake had yet to clean out the space that I was to move into. Now this would not be an issue under normal Jamie circumstances, but Joe had to be back to the cities pronto to finish up some pertinent labor at his place of employment (which in the end was all in vain). So we met up with Jake who apologized profusely and we all started bringing in some of the littler boxes that had fit in the back of the van. After we moved much of them into the inside living room it became very apparent that there was NO WAY all of my clothes were going to fit into my downgraded (From mom and Dad’s place) but also upgraded (see last blog) closet. So in an attempt to pass the time, Joe and I took off to shop for a fix while Jake finished cleaning out the room.

This is the part where I made Joe go in and out of three different stores on a mad search for the perfect external closet. I started off at Goodwill thinking that in a college town they’d probably have some really useful things. Little did I know how sadly mistaken I was. Even Jake had forewarned me of this particular goodwill stating it’s not like the goodwill’s in the cities it’s, “The Duluth Goodwill.” I wasn’t quite sure what he meant when he emphasized Duluth (maybe I could have portrayed that emphasis like, “The Duluth Goodwill.”) but once I got there I immediately understood. Pulling into the parking lot I almost hit an old man, with by the way? there is an abundance of them up here! I thought this was going to be a college town, and it is, but the current ratio between old and young is probably 1:1 and the middle aged don't exist here...

As Joe and I walked into stop number one of the afternoon I noticed the dirtiness that seemed to be all around us, and as we approached Joe proceeded to point out the improperly installed doors. They had been installed backwards and apparently no one thought it to be important enough to fix. Anyway, once Joe and I were inside I proceed to search for my new wardrobe holdy thingy and in passing made a comment to Joe about a wooden headboard. Immediately we were approached by an old man who instantly fills us in about how nice of a head board it really is. At this point, I stopped listening and started to avert my eyes while slowly moving away. He said a few more things to Joe of which I don’t recall, but to this day I’m not sure if he worked there and wanted us to buy the headboard, or if he was some dude letting us know he had already staked his claim and was marking his territory while his wife and ten kids pulled up the minivan. Who knows.

Next up on the list was Wal-mart where I actually gave up my penny pinching hopes and purchased a brand new external wardrobe thingy. However, this was still not enough. I then proceeded to drive further on down the road to check out Target’s selection as well. You can never be too sure about who carries the best thing or has the best price! By the time all of this running around was complete Joe and I got lunch and headed back to the house. From here on out was smooth sailing. So here is a picture of my pieced together room in which you can also see my wonderful new wardrobe holdy thingy. The room is a lot smaller than I had originally thought but it works nicely!

The following day was more or less organizing and moving my room around to accommodate the mountains of crap that I had brought with me.. After putting my room together like a brilliantly played game of Tetris (represent, yo!) I was ready to get out of the house and pick up some food at the grocery store (which is seriously a mile away! If I haven’t already mentioned how convenient the location of this house is, I will do so now. It’s three blocks away from a gas station and liquor store, three blocks away from my school, one mile away from a grocery store and one mile away from an erberts and gerberts, awesome, right!?) Anyway my first grocery shopping experience in Duluth was wonderful. I did an awesome job at picking only healthy foods (yes I consider Healthy Choice frozen meals healthy regardless of what chemicals may or may not be in them). But what got me real good about this shopping experience was a display that my roommate had pointed out to me at the front of the store. I snapped a picture so ya’ll can see:

Yes my friends, my local grocer cares about its clientele. They want to ensure that when you come in for your frozen meals and pop tarts that you don’t forget the essentials to the popular college game, Beer Pong. At this point in time it became obvious to me, that I had definitely moved to the right town. Don’t get me wrong, I actually don’t like beer pong all that much, but what I do like is that if I did want to play it? My grocer would be there to support this decision. Awesomeness!? yes I think so.

Speaking of beer pong makes a good segue into my next interesting night here in Duluth. So Friday had rolled around and two of my roommates informed me they were planning on having some friends over to drink later on that night. Since it is currently one ten in the morning I am going to keep this incredibly short and sum this all up in one annoying and probably confusing run on sentence. So here it goes: Alex the ex-roommate invited his friends who were crazy, the most notable was 50 year old Dave who had theories of mushrooms sucking up toxic waste, also notable was Alex’s brother Dan and his BFF red sweater boy who asked to retire with me (I secretly adored him and just two hours earlier he had had his boxers ripped off by a stripper. SERIOUSLY.) also notable was Taylor who tried to do a subtle lean in and kiss move on me but he was met with the hand of rejection, all while Alex was getting more and more intoxicated resulting in punching one of my roommates (jokingly?) in the back of the head and as if that wasn’t enough moving on to his brother’s face which bled all over the kitchen floor in which I ended up cleaning. The End.

Okay so there was a lot more involved in all of that but maybe another time and another place would be a good time to tell it, or maybe never, but definitely not now. 

So the following night I went hunting with Mr. Thompson in Moose Lake. Here are the wonderful shots I got from the experience:

(Matt Showing off his 'rack')

and last but not least the pretty fire!!! oooooo....

Now Moose Lake is about a half hour drive from Duluth, and Thompson had informed me that I would be meeting him at a hunting bar about, “ten miles or so” east on 27. Silly little me believed him. So I’m about 30 miles down 27 when I start to question if I’m still going the right direction. I hadn’t seen a road sign for about 15 miles at this point. I check my phone to see if I can give him a ring and realize, “GREAT, NO flippen service!?” SO I’m out in the middle of God’s Country, not a clue as to where I am and all I can do is give a little prayer. Surprisingly, (but not really) about one mile later I see a deer swerve to miss it and end up in the parking lot of this quaint little hunting bar off hwy 65. Man, I love Minnesota. HA. I ended up spending that night in a fish house with a wonderful serenade of snores to lull me to sleep. In the morning we got up early to go sit out in the cold and wait for a damn deer. Nothing ever came, yet I heard shots all around me from the other neighbors out hunting as well. I was convinced it had something to do with me smelling like a girl. Or maybe not, but I guess I’ll never know. I finally get to the point where I just want to crawl back into my bed and sleep, so I pack up shop and head home to Duluth. 

Once I arrive I load up my arms and body so I can get all my stuff inside in one trip because I’m lazy like that. I carefully make my way up to the door and into my room. I’m about to throw down all my stuff on the bed and curl up in ball when I realize something is different. Yep, I had to close my eyes just to make sure I wasn’t all messed up from the lack of sleep, but it was certain, some dude was passed out in my bed. I dropped all my stuff on the floor, stood there, and just stared. I wasn’t sure what to do at first until I got a little bit angry at this man for being in my clean, personal area. Dude, get the F out. So I whacked him on the shoulder, and said, “Dude, You’re in my FUCKING BED.” He mumbled an apology and said he was just keeping it warm for me and honestly he took entirely too long to get the hell out of my room. It’s like he thought some friendly conversation would make up for his lack sobriety and dirtiness being all over my shit. WRONG… LEAVE… NOW… Anyway, he ended up kicking it at our house until he had to go to work at 4, only after he had a few more beers to ‘cure his hangover’ which I think was still in the ‘hang’ phase because the drunkenness did not seem to be quite over yet. After he left, I cleaned and washed everything he could have possibly touched. EW, he could have had those killer bedbugs that everyone is talking about… NASTY! For the record, he was a pretty nice guy, and all of my roommates apologized for not keeping tabs on my room. A different person might still be upset about this but I’m fine with it (this time). These types of experiences are the one’s that make life interesting, if it hadn’t happened what would I have to blog about, right?!!!

Anyway, in the past week I’ve spent my day’s filling out job applications and trying to convince retail people that I really want to try my hand in their line of work (Lies, this is the last thing I really want to do). So far I’ve had two interviews one at Spirit Mountain and the other at Bath & Body Works. I accepted the position at B&B, but would prefer to work else where. Today I got a call from Spirit but unfortunately didn’t get to my phone in time and of course when I returned the call it went to voicemail. I truly hope I hear from them again!!! I can’t wait to go snowboarding on my brand new baby!!!

For those of your who know anything about boards it's the Burton Social (V-rocker), K-2 Bindings with Burton Sapphire boots. UGH, it's SO sexy.

At this point the internet as been back on for a good hour and I’ve yet to return to my deliciously good looking boy choir. 

(That's them... in case you were wondering :)

This is all I have for now, so I'm signing out, and moving on. Keep it classy yo!

Movie Medicine

Tonight I saw a movie called Easy A. Now I don’t know about you, but there is something that happens to me when I see a really good movie. Even though you always know the storyline it’s the same old boy meets girl, boy & girl face obstacles, yet despite the odds they end up kissing at the end and riding away on a riding lawn mower.

Okay, so maybe the riding lawn mower doesn’t always happen, I guess sometimes it’s a horse. But only white ones, duh. So this movie, Easy A, did exactly what I expect a good movie to do. It made me feel all happy from the inside out. A good movie somehow pulls at your heart strings and touches the part of your soul that sings of hope and happiness.

Once again I am going off about my weird romance obsession, I know I'm going all softy. If you don't like it then please leave my blog, but if you DOOOO like it then you will adore this ADORABLE couple who have upgraded from a measly horse to a smooth classy riding mower!

….It doesn’t get much better than that!

Also featured in 'Easy A' is this wonderful family. I want one!

 

Anyway moving on to more important news (well, let’s face it, everything I have to say is important) I have officially received a move in date!!

Someone mentioned to me tonight that I am a, “Lucky Girl” and seriously? I AM. Not only because I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow, but for SO many other reasons… There is a story… and my tale begins with a little something called Netflix. You’d think at the ripe age of 23, one might have already learned about this little gem, but I assure you, there are still people out there that need your assistance in opening their eyes to the plethora of juicy films just waiting for their viewing pleasure. In one wasteful (read: wonderful) day, I successfully watched four flims (Yes, I did spend all day in bed eating the filling of chicken pot pie followed by apple pie, icecream, peanut M&M’s and mint swiss rolls. Yeah? SAY SUMIN’) starting with X Men, followed by the bittersweet Sunshine Cleaning, which lead into the classic Neverending Story and last but not least one of the best films (in my humble opinion) of all time The son of Rambo. I don’t know how old all ya’ll are, but I was born in the late 80’s and just missed the rage over the neverending story. Honestly the only reason I am aware of the film comes from one of my crappy high school punk bands, New Found Glory (OK so now they might not be so crappy, but believe me, they were then) Anyway, NFG, did a cover of this song:

NFG's Neverending Story Cover

In even luckier news, I somehow ended up with and unexpected upgrade… to help put this into visualization it’s like going from this...

To this..

ORRRR for people who think in terms of food like me; from this:

To this: 

Anyway, I really did plan on writing something amazing for you all to read, but this is all I've got for now. I think most of you are aware that since I've written this blog many new things have happened and I assure you they will eventually find their way to this lovely little blog of mine. But alas, I am sick, and I have a job interview in the morning, so until then this is Jamie Rae signing out, goodnight Minnesota!

A-Z of Awesomeness

It's been awhile.... seeing how much time has flown since I've last been able to blog I have many things to say! Sooo in order to keep my thoughts organized (somewhat) I'm going to start with a list:

A) Here is the best advice I've received in awhile: Following your skills with make you rich, but following your dreams will make you happy. Which would you prefer? To me the answer is obvious. So why then is it so hard?

B) I want to join the Peace Corp and see the world! For real, all you need is a degree and at UMD I can get just that. I'd like to go someplace much simpler then it is here.

C) It is now fall, and fall is my favorite season. Kind of. (ahhhh, the days of plaid clothing & hoodies)

D) Some lyrics that totally hit me at the right time:

The matches: "Choose A, B, or C, it's free will, but it's still a recipe. What about the rest of us? Will we be restless for the rest of our lives?"

E) JEN GOT MARRIED. She is officially the first couple in my life to get hitched.The date was 10/10/10 at 10:00 in the morning. Here is a picture of their happy family:

 F) I want a kid. No, but seriously. Not any time soon, maybe towards the end of this decade. This also reminds me of Uncle Tom. OK so he's not MY uncle, but he should be! Uncle Tom is lovely, and I can seriously thank him for unknowingly (and figuratively) knocking me upside the head causing me to have a life changing epiphany. Let's pause here for a moment, merriam-webster's definition of Epiphany is as follows:  

 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.

I don't think there is a more fitting word in any language for this precise moment of my life. Sitting around the campfire was Laura, Joe, myself, Laura's Uncle Tom & Aunt Karen, along with her Aunt Kathy & husband Rich, and her cousin plus company. Everyone was all together exchanging funny stories and laughing about the last family gathering, their very own trademark festival, known as Duff Fest!! (which I attended, and well, I can't even begin to explain to you what happens when a crazy Irish man throws all of his best friends onto a plot of land to camp out for the weekend... let's just say there was a lot of drinking and a lot of drunking) (Also there was an episode of, "Shit I locked my keys in my car!!" and being far from home hilarity ensued, but rest assured the keys were removed by the wonderful Johnny B!!..)

Anyway, back to my point.... As we were all sitting around joking and participating in our casual witty banter, Joe made a comment about having kids. In response, Uncle Tom said something along the lines of this:

"Maaan, reproducing is what we are put here to dooo, maan. We're supposed to reproduce... If I didn't, we wouldn't all be sittin' around this fire right now!" (P.S. let the record show that this family has THEE most stunning fire pit, it's built down into the ground so it provides a wonderful enclosure as well as perfect shelves for your brew!)

This right here, is when it happened. I, Jamie Rae, had an epiphany. Uncle Tom whacked me upside the head (FIGURATIVELY) and some sense made itself at home in my sometimes non-sensical head. I know that I have been the worst at saying I'll never have kids and up until this point I have whole heartedly believed that this was what I wanted (or for the best). SO I know a lot of you kid lovers out there have been waiting to say something so now is your chance. I'd like to take this opportunity to cyber pat all of you on the back that have said to me in the past, "Oh, you'll change your mind someday.." and give you a victory high-five. You were right, I was wrong.  I mean really? Who did I think I was going to spend the rest of my life with?!

G) The Tucker Max signing. OH man. This can only be described in picture format. You may or may not have heard of Tucker Max so I'll debrief you on his short, horribly brilliant history. HE IS A GIANT ASSHAT, and that is exactly how he pays his bills. Tucker has written two books (I hope they serve beer in Hell, and the recent release, Asshole's Finish First) that would make any person you went to high school or college with look like a saint. After reading his first book, I was actually quite irritated that my hard earned money was spent on funding Tucker Max. I dislike Tucker so much that I wouldn't recommend ANYONE buy his books, but I would suggest that you read it, because let's face it... as much as Mr. Max is a raging ball-sacky pile of steaming le' douche, his stories are entertaining as fuck and with that said, I can't help but like him... a little. Needless to say when I found out he was coming here to my city I HAD to go to the signing which was held at the U of M campus. In order to go see Tucker and get a signed copy of his new book I had to cut my lunch hour, talk a friend into ditching out on work, run to borders and pick up two copies one for each of us, make it through rush hour traffic to run into a giant dick of a detour that led me to $6 bucks worth of parking and nearly drove my friend crazy by taking her all around MPLS in rush hour traffic. In my head I'm hoping this is all worth it, even secretly hoping for some protesters to show up and call him names (which I've seen on youtube, people are def. sippin on the Tuckerhater-aid and I can’t blame them). So when I pull up and there is no line or crowd and the parking attendant had no clue as to what I was talking about I started to get a little nervous that my whole afternoon Tucker preparations were in vain. But then we found him, there he was right in front of me this man is real and in the flesh, and all the sudden I'm trying to not think of the horrible things he's done to people. It never seems real when reading his stories because the outrageousness factor is so incredibly high that most of his stories are hard to believe.. Either way I push my thoughts aside and decide, that although this man may be an asshole, he is still brilliant for cashing in on his drunken escapades for a whole lot of Franklin's (why didn’t I think of this first!?). All animosity aside Laura and I wait up to an hour in line and are finally up next for pictures and signage. SOOOO this is the part that can only be explained with a picture. First I will show you the picture Laura got with Tucker Max:

  Cute right? I think so too! So anyway, I stroll right on up extending my hand all, "Hi Tucker Max, I'm Jamie" (I'll leave out the part when he asked me where the placement of the 'I' is in my name and I took more then 30 seconds to respond lol) and requested a 'funny' picture and this (drumroll please...) is what I got:

It's OK, you can laugh, because if you don't laugh you'll cry lol but I WILL be pissed if this ends up on FAILblog ;)

H) NEW HAIIIRR :)

  I) I love this band, and not just because I know them - Fades Away

  J) I purchased this lovely dress and have big plans for it... Right now I'm only showing ya'll the colors because it's not exactly the best design for a 23 year old :)

I'm going to shorten it at least two feet. Right now it's a full length dress, but I'm going to make it pop, yo! (and by pop read 'hot' :) This is the style that I want it to resemble when it's done:

K) Have I mentioned that I love all things plaid? I Just bought this lovely piece from good ol' Target!

  L) I missed out on Grieves, AND the Zombie pub crawl

 

Speaking of Grieves my favorite song by him is call Greedy Bitch, and if you look past the vulgarity and harsh words, his intentions are good. Greedy!

This kid can spit better then the best, and here is a sample:

The last petals picked

Your romeo's dead
you need to pick yourself up and start living instead
you need to stop giving in to all the shit that he says
makes you feel like a bitch when you try to forget...
Girl...
Stop thinkin he'll be comin back around for ya
open up the car door and drive it outta town with ya
I hate to break it to ya lady, but its over
so you can cancel the search for your four leafed clover
Cuz aint no amount of wishin gonna bring him back
aint no amount of givin gonna change his tracks
Aint no amount of cinnamon gonna sweeten the crap
that you've been taken from this dude tryna pretend that you're happy so...
Guess your lookin' for the sunshine and progress
waitin in the rain for your prince in your prom dress
you can hold on and sink with the ship and keep
pulling it
pulling it
pullin down....

M) I've admitted to being a hopeless romantic. This is a shot from my favorite musical, "Singing In The Rain"

(Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly, 1952)

N) I FINALLY have glazed and picked up my pottery!! :) Everyone always asks for pictures so here are some of the items that I made over the summer in my very fist hand building class:

  O) I love beanies and wish I could wear them always, but it really puts a damper on my hair's already depleted lack of volume. (Was that just a double negative?)

P) Probably my all time favorite person on the planet is Stephen Kleinjung, and it's his birthday on Tuesday!! (heaven help us I know I can't afford a $3,000 dollar bill this year!)

  Q) I have two weeks or more of no work and am trying to brainstorm ideas of how to make a little extra cash. I'm thinking about grabbing my guitar and going to play on a streetcorner lol Also, I'd like to make and sell these little guy's:

 R) I want someone (and by someone I mean a gorgeous man with tattoo's and depth) to take me here: SEVEN (P.S. if you fit the before mentioned description please contact me immediately with a picture and a request for application... bahaha JUST KIDDING)

Check out this bad ass place!

S) I love Laura Hamilton, and smoking dope in her sauna haha. That's a lie, or is it?

T) Lately I can't stop using the following words: Dude & Balls. I think this further supports my theory that I NEED female friends up in Duluth.

U) I dream about owning a coffee shop and selling art.

V) Dude, STFU I don't care if you think I can't do it.

W) Long boarders are sexy, I'd like to trade in my skateboard for one... any takers?

X) I stopped really having things to say after F....

Y) I paid off MAXIMUS, my soul-sucking, high interest rate, over used credit card!!!

Z) THE END :)